Heroes vs. Villains/Transcript
Intro Chris walked onto the dock at Camp Wawanakwa. He stopped at the edge beside Chef Hatchet as the Drama Machine tailed him and inhaled. "Ah." He exhaled. "Good old radioactive-free air." He grinned at the camera. "Welcome back, viewers, after my – uh – involuntarily year-long 'vacation', to Camp Wawanakwa!" He chuckled. "During that time, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and do you know what I found?" Chef Hatchet rolled his eyes. The Drama Machine beeped. "I found that I needed to be surrounded by people that I love – to hurt." Chris smiled wickedly. "It's a condition of my parole. Except the hurt part – that's all McLean." He walked to the other end of the dock. "So, this season, I'm bringing back fourteen contestants from both sets of casts to battle it out in the most dangerous, death-defying one million dollar competition ever!" The Drama Machine held up a case. A few bills floated off. Chef Hatchet walked up behind Chris. "Chef, what do you think about this season?" Chris grinned. "People gonna die." Chef said. Chris faked a smile. "That Chef, huh?" He shoved the cook out of the camera's view. "What a jokester." He grinned. "This is gonna be good." He rubbed his hands. "Bring it on! Here ... on Total ... Drama ... All-Stars!" Opening sequence (Cameras extend from parts around Camp Wawanakwa.) Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine. You guys are on my mind. (Camera rapidly moves past Chris, in a helicopter, and up a hundred foot cliff. The camera jumps off the cliff and enters the ocean where Scott is being chased by Fang.) You asked me what I wanted to be, and now I think the answer's plain to see. (Fang jumps out of the water, showing Courtney on a raft paddling toward him.) I wanna be famous. I wanna live close to the sun. So pack your bags 'cause I've already won. (The camera zooms in on a totem pole where Duncan is carving a skull that resembles a bunny as Zoey stares at him, causing him to stop and snap his knife. The camera zooms back where Zoey turns to see Mal with a rope, preparing to drop a boulder on Cameron. He quickly turns back to Zoey as Mike and grins.) Everything to prove, nothing in my way. I'll get there one day. 'Cause I want to be famous. (The camera moves to the Mess Hall where Alejandro and Heather are wrestling each other for the McLean Brand Chris Head. Heather knocks Alejandro down and the Chris Head falls into her hands. She laughs while Alejandro scowls at her.) Naaaa-na-na-na-naaaa, na-na-na-na-naaaa, na-na-na-na-na-naaaa! (The camera pans back to reveal the dock where Lightning is staring at his reflection in the water. In the water, Courtney is still chasing Fang, but the raft crashes into Duncan and Gwen’s boat and the latter smiles apologetically as Courtney sinks.) I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous! I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous! (Further in the water, Lindsay is jet-skiing and blowing kisses and Jo, also jet-skiing, shoves her aside when they crash into each other. The camera goes to Boney Island where mutants are chasing Sam and is mauled by one, sending pieces of his clothes into the air until the day becomes the night.) Whistling. (At the campfire, Scott, bruised, and Courtney lean in to kiss, but Sierra snaps a picture of them on her phone and they flinch back. Camera pans back as the campers, separated with the Heroes on the right and the Villains on the left.) Act I Chris stood at the beach beside the Drama Machine. A green helicopter flew above the water. "Ah, here are our all-stars now. From our Revenge of the Island cast, we have Multiple Mike!" Chef grabbed Mike by his shirt and threw him out of the plane. "Are you sure this is safe?" Mike yelled. "Mike's girlfriend turned powerhouse turned, uh, Mike's girlfriend, Zoey!" Chef attempted to grab Zoey, but she leaped off the plane. "I'm coming!" The cook grabbed her ankle. He snickered. "Not sorry." Chef mocked and let go. Zoey screamed as she fell. "Season finalist Lightning!" Chris said. Lightning shoved Chef aside. "You're gonna need more than Chef to throw this," He flexed. "Off this plane! Sha-OW!" Chef kicked him in the rear, booting him out of the plane. "And the other finalist, bubble-brained Cameron!" Chef grabbed Cameron by the hood. "Surely there must be another way." Chef shook his head and threw Cameron off the plane. The nerd screamed as he fell. "Gamer guy Sam!" Chris said. "Whoa!" Sam shouted as Chef simply plucked him up and dropped him. "Saboteur and frequent shark snack: Scott." Chris said. Scott screamed as he clutched on to Chef's foot. Chef shook his foot, loosening Scott's grip. He chuckled as the farm boy's hands slipped. "Take no prisoner, Jo, who dominated until her underling turned on her." Chris said. Jo nudged Chef back. "You're a dead man, McLean!" Chef tackled her out of the plane. Jo screamed as she joined her fellow competitors in the water. Chris smiled. "And from our original cast, first season finalist and boyfriend stealer, Gwen." Gwen screamed. "I didn't steal anyone's boyfriend!" "Bossy know-it-all, C.I.T. Courtney!" Chef effortlessly flung Courtney over her shoulder. "This is not in my contract!" "Bad boy, Duncan!" Duncan leaped off the plane. "Bring it on!" "Total Drama's original mean girl, Heather." "You'll pay for this, Chris!" Heather screamed as she plunged into the lake. Chris chuckled. "Loveable lamebrain Lindsay." Lindsay waved her arms as she sailed through the air. "I'm flying." She froze, registering that she was free-falling for the first time. The blonde screamed as she crashed through the water. "And, who could forget, geeky underdog –" "For Cody!" Sierra screamed as she jumped out of the plane and into the lake. A huge wave shot into the air, hitting the plane. "Uh, Sierra?" Chris said. The Drama Machine handed Chris a megaphone. "Chef! I thought we agreed to only bring back the sane contestants!" "She signed the contract!" Chef snapped. "Fine." Chris rolled his eyes and tossed the megaphone to the side. "And last, but not least, prairie mutant Ezekiel!" The thirteen competitors gasped as Chef grabbed Ezekiel's hood and tossed him out of the plane. Ezekiel spluttered as he fell toward the contestants. From its torso, the Drama Machine released a plunger and stopped him in midair. Chris smiled, "Just kidding. There's no way that guy is ever coming back!" The Drama Machine beeped. The plunger launched out of the robot, shooting Ezekiel across the island and into Boney Island. "Welcome All-Stars!" Chris said. He frowned as the thirteen contestants leisurely swam toward the shore. The Drama Machine handed him another megaphone. "Hurry it up!" "We're swimming as fast as we can!" Heather shouted. "Jerk." She muttered. The thirteen competitors washed up on the sand. Chris walked up to them. Behind him, the Drama Machine wheeled a flat-screen TV into view. "Isn't it great to be back?" "Of course not!" Jo said. "Not really." Zoey said. "Just when I thought I'd seen the last of Wawanakwa, I get dragged back in." Gwen said. "Where's all the toxic dump?" Sam asked, standing beside Gwen. She glanced at him quizzically. Chris grinned. "Great news! This island is now one hundred percent toxic free." "What?!" Sam said. "I only came back to get up and personal with some radiation so I can become a kick-butt mutant," He held up a photo of him and Dakota. "Like my gal, Dakota." "Tough luck." Chris said dryly. Courtney strolled up to him. "You're going to pay for my dry cleaning." "No, no I'm not," Chris smiled. The Drama Machine held up a stack of contracts. "Shall we read the fine print?" Courtney growled. She turned and focused her attention on the shore where Gwen helped Duncan stand. Courtney's eyes narrowed. Courtney sat in the outhouse confessional. "Same old Chris," Her eyes followed a fly. "Same old disgusting island." She flicked the fly. "What was I thinking?" "Listen up, campers," Chris said. The screen behind him projected a picture of a cabin. "This season, the losers will once again stay in our crummy run-down cabins." The contestants sighed. The projection shifted focus to a two-story spa hotel. "But, the winners will stay here: in the eco-friendly McLean-Brand Spa Hotel!" The contestants cheered. Courtney sat in the confessional. "Okay, maybe things aren't the same as last time." Jo laughed. "The other team shouldn't even think about having a chance to stay in that hotel." "Now," Chris continued. "In honor of your all-star status, I have decided to separate you based on your previous performances. Heroes vs. Villains!" "Obviously I'm on the Villains team. And I'll be running it by lunch." Heather said. "Heroes vs. villains?" Gwen turned to Duncan. "Guess you and I won't be on the same team. Unless, Chris considers you a hero." She snickered. Duncan frowned. "Hey." He raised an eyebrow. "Actually, no, you're right. I'll miss you." He leaned down and pecked her lightly. Gwen spotted Courtney as she scowled in disapproval. She pulled back and Duncan fell onto the sand. Heather laughed. "Look, Gwen, obviously Duncan thinks kissing dirt is better than kissing you. I can't imagine why. There's hardly a difference." Gwen scowled. Her eyes widened as Lindsay wrapped her arms around Heather. "Aw, someone misses her honey-bun. I totally understand. I miss Tyler so much." Heather shoved Lindsay off of her. "Who? Alejandro? I'm glad he's not back. As if I need actual competition for the million. Handsome jerk." The Drama Machine beeped. "Uh, hello?" Chris interrupted. "Remember me? Yeah, it's time to assign the teams. Duncan, Heather, Jo, Lightning, Scott, and Gwen," The Drama Machine dropped Gwen beside her teammates. "You are now the Villainous Vultures!" "What?" Gwen asked. "Why am I on the villains' team?" "Because you stole my boyfriend and became the new Heather!" Courtney snapped. "Yeah, what she said." Chris said. "But, I've done so many good things. I'm not a villain, I'm nice." Gwen protested. Duncan helped Gwen stand. "Being bad is cool. And, this way, we're on the same team. Win – win, right?" Gwen bobbed her head. "I guess." She sighed. "Aw, man! I only came back for Gwen. Not that a million isn't good too, whatever. She better not sulk the whole time or I might as well be dating Courtney." Duncan said. "Cameron, Courtney, Lindsay, Mike, Sam, Sierra, and Zoey – you're the Heroic Hamsters!" Chris announced. "Uh, excuse me, how are hamsters heroic?" Courtney asked. "It was either that or the Heroic Hippos." Chris said. "Hamsters it is." Courtney grinned. "Wait a minute," Jo said. "They have seven to our six. No fair!" "You didn't complain last season." Scott mumbled. "I was able to carry the extra weight, farm boy, but this time, I'm looking out for me, myself, and I!" Jo snapped. "What's the deal, McLean?" "I needed the seat on the plane for that Ezekiel prank." Chris smiled. Jo glared at him. Chris sighed and pressed a button. "Fine, you can have the robot." He tossed the remote to Jo, hitting her chest. She fumbled and grabbed it as the Drama Machine stopped near Heather. "Keep your distance, toaster." Heather yelled. Heather shuddered. "Ugh. There's something about that robot I just don't like." Heather yanked the remote from Jo and pressed the button. The Drama Machine beeped in worry as he neared the ocean. "Hey, stop that!" Jo said. She swiped the remote from Heather and parked the Drama Machine next to her. The two growled at each other. "I hope we can get along better than them." Mike chuckled. Courtney raised an eyebrow. She yelped as Sierra popped up in front of her, taking a picture. She squealed. "Ow!" Sierra squealed. "This ... is ... the greatest moment of my life!" She took deep pants. "I've always dreamed of visiting Camp Wawanakwa and now I'm actually here! And I'm using the very first confessional of the series." She bawled. "I can't – I can't believe it." Chris stood in front of the flat screen television. "This year's challenges all nod to classics from the past, but with harsh new twists to make this the toughest Total Drama season ever!" "I almost feel sorry for the newbies." Courtney said. "They only dealt with Chris's insane challenges for one season. They should just hand one of us veterans the million, and by that, I mean me!" Chris said, "Your first challenge?" The screen displayed an image of the spa hotel. "Find the key to the spa hotel! It was accidentally lost when I on purpose threw it into the ocean. Heh. Heh." The contestants stared at him. "Anyway, you'll do so in an homage to Total Drama's first ever challenge: cliff diving into water infested with ravenous sharks!" Courtney gasped. "Cliff diving?! Oh come on!" Scott gulped. He shivered. "Okay, so maybe I have a phobia of sh-sh-sharks, can you blame me?" The screen showed Chef Hatchet as he kicked an intern off the cliff. "Once you dive into the water," The screen showed shark's fins. "Try to avoid the sharks long enough to snag a key." The image changed and displayed various keys scattered in the sand. "And choose wisely. Only of those suckers is the real deal." The intern fended off a shark as he grabbed a silver key nearest to him. "Assuming you live long enough to reach dry land," The intern solemnly strolled toward another intern who stood next to a baby carriage. "A teammate will drive you to the hotel in one of the baby carriages from season three's: 'Race through Central Park.'" Chris walked to a jeep parked nearby by another intern. "First team to unlock the spa door wins," Chris jumped onto the jeep. "And someone from team loser may be going home tonight. Change into your swimsuits and meet me at the base of the cliff in fifteen minutes. Chop, chop!" The jeep drove off. "Wait!" Mike yelled. "Where are our swimsuits?" He screamed as his luggage collapsed on him. The rest of the luggage fell toward the beach as the contestants screamed and ran to avoid them. "Mike!" Zoey shouted. She and Cameron rushed up to him. "Jeez, learned any new names yet, Apology Brat?" Jo mocked. Mike groaned, rubbing his head. "I'm okay. I'm okay." He chuckled nervously. "Just a hit to the old noggin', nothing to worry about." "Are you sure?" Cameron asked. "Last time something hit you on the head, you had to fight off your other personalities." "That was last year, Cam," Mike said as he stood. "This time I'm totally in control." "Uh, hello?" Courtney yelled as she, Lindsay, Sam, and Sierra ran after the Vultures. "Move it! We've got a challenge to get to." The Heroic Hamsters stopped to a walk behind the Vultures. Sam groaned. "How much more do we have to walk? I wasn't built for all this physical activity." "We've only walked half a mile." Courtney said. Up ahead, the Drama Machine tried approaching Heather. She held out her arm, stopping its path. "I said, back off!" Cameron fell to the back with Sierra. "So, Sierra, what brought you back?" "I wanna win for Cody. We would've won last time if I didn't accidentally blow up the plane. He was supposed to come back this season, but it was too dangerous for him to return." Sierra said. "You took Cody's spot?" Cameron asked. Sierra nodded. "It's tough to be apart from my man, but I'm sure I can handle it long enough to win the million." "Oh, yeah!" Cameron said. "Your hair grew back nicely." "Thanks!" Sierra said. "But, enough about me, what about you?! You're amazing! I am a huge fan. The way you back-stabbed Jo and used Lightning to win immunity instead of doing the challenge was amazing! I have to admit, I thought you'd be one of the first ones out." Cameron stopped and looked up at Sierra with a raised eyebrow. "Uh, thanks?" Sierra laughed. "Yeah. Never in a million years would I have thought that you would win Total Drama. I'm surprised the challenges didn't kill you, seeing how weak you are." Cameron gulped uncertainly. Heather pushed Jo back. "Excuse me!" "Uh, watch it, Old Heather." Jo warned. "You watch it, newbie!" Heather snapped. "Guys," Gwen interrupted. "Just because Chris labeled us 'villains' doesn't mean we have to act like villains. We're a team. We should work together as a team!" "She's right." Scott laughed. "Oh, yeah, sure." Lightning mocked. Duncan grinned teasingly. Jo rolled her eyes. 'You weren't exactly miss team player last time we were here." Heather reminded. "I can't believe we're on the same team again." Gwen sighed. "Heh. No way are we working together. I ..." Heather said. "Don't trust ..." Jo continued. "Anyone ..." Duncan said. "On this ..." Scott said. The Drama Machine beeped. "Team!" Lightning finished. "Heh." Gwen said. "I think that went well!" The villains laughed manically while Gwen chuckled. Courtney glared at Duncan and Gwen. "Ugh!" Gwen scoffed. "Courtney keeps glaring at me like she's trying to set me on fire." "I'll give her a glare back for ya." Duncan said. He turned and sneered at Courtney. She scowled and tore her head away. "Uh, hello? Courtney?! Hey!" "I'm used to having girls yell at me, even punch me. But, blank me? That's ... that's just wrong!" Duncan complained. He crossed his arms. "Uh, I mean, pfft! Whatever. See if I care." His eye twitched. "Psst," Lindsay said. "I think Duncan wants you to yell at him. You know, for old times' sake!" "What's the point?" Courtney said. "He never listens. Besides, it's over between us. He's a bad boy; I knew it couldn't last forever." "What about Greta? Wasn't she your friend?" Lindsay said. Courtney scoffed. "Hardly. But, if we were, I won't be making that mistake again." Lindsay grabbed Courtney's shoulders. "You know how to stop making mistakes? Teach me!" The contestants stopped at the base of the cliff. The Villains stood beside a red baby carriage while the Heroes lined up behind a gold baby carriage. Chris swooped in with his jetpack. "Greetings, all-stars," The competitors coughed as dust blew around them. He landed in between the carriages. "Here are your carriages. Blood red for the Villainous Vultures and purest gold for the Heroic Hamsters. You've got thirty seconds to pick your carriage drivers, starting ... now!" Scott immediately grabbed the baby carriage. "I'll drive!" "No, I'll drive!" Jo shouted as she placed her hands on the rail. "Sha-please!" Lightning walked up to them. "You're the slowest go-cart driver ever!" "But I'm also the Shopping Cart Racing Circuit champion." Jo said. She smirked. "No I'm not. I just said that, because ..." "Gotta respect championship status." Lightning said. "Jo drives!" Lightning flung Scott over his shoulder and dragged him away. "Aw, come on! I just wanted to avoid having to jump into the mouths of hungry sh-sh-sharks." Scott said. "Was that too much to ask?" Gwen walked up to the baby carriage. "But, Jo, wouldn't you make a better diver since you're so athletic?" "Nobody tells me what to do, Goth-ball." Jo said. "And don't even try to kiss me!" "What?" Gwen gasped. "After three seasons of kindness, I'm reduced to 'evil kisser' status?! For the last time, Duncan and Courtney were over before he and I started. You can't steal a boyfriend if the boy is free!" "Time's running up." Chris announced. "I'll do it!" Courtney and Sierra announced. They glared at each other. Sam, Mike, Cameron, and Lindsay gulped. "Well, why do you both want to push the carriage?" Zoey asked. "We'll weigh the options and pick who can drive as a team!" "Great idea, Zoey!" Mike said. Courtney's eyes narrowed. "I don't like this Zoey girl. Just who does she think she is?" "I'm a third-generation baby carriage pusher! If I push, then we're sure to win!” Sierra laughed and snorted. Zoey, Cameron, and Lindsay nodded their heads. Courtney glanced at the cliff. "Of course I couldn't say the real reason why I wanted to push the carriage. A leader can't look weak." She gulped. "I know how to push baby carriages too. I used to be a C.I.T." "Not that again." Lindsay said. "Ten seconds!" Chris announced. "Anything else?" Cameron asked. "I, uh, have a medical condition." Courtney gulped. Sierra laughed. "You tried that in the first episode, remember? You were almost voted off." "Thank you, Sierra!" Courtney strained her voice. "All in favor for Sierra?" Zoey asked. She, Mike, Cameron, Sam, and Lindsay raised their hands. "Sorry, Courtney." Courtney scowled. "I don't like her one bit." "Okay, everyone but Sierra and Jo," Chris said. "Up the cliff you go!" The competitors groaned as they reached the top of the cliff. "Sha-first!" Lightning cheered. Sam groaned and collapsed on Cameron. Mike, Zoey, and Scott looked over the cliff. Fang popped his head out of the water and waved. "Fang!" "Who?" Gwen asked, joining the others. "Who's the best key spotter? And who's dead in the shark-infested water? Find out when we return on Total ... Drama ... All-Stars!" Chris said. Act II "Places, people!" Chris ordered. "It's divin' time!" The Heroic Hamsters looked over the edge of the cliff. Heather stared confusingly at Scott as he shivered. He grabbed her and pushed her forward. "A-a-after you, I-I insist! Heh." "One diver per team at a time." Chris said. "The next diver has to wait until their team's carriage returns. Ready, set ..." He pressed an air horn, causing it to blare. Lightning rushed to the edge of the cliff. "Whoo! Lightning strikes!" He tumbled over the edge and dove into the water, punching a shark as he did so. "So, who wants to go first?" Courtney asked. Sam, Mike, Zoey, and Cameron stared at each other. "Well, someone has to!" "Why can't you?" Zoey asked. Courtney glanced around frantically. "I, uh, uh." Duncan laughed. "She's too much of a chicken to do so, that's why. Bawk. Bawk. Bawk." Lightning's head popped out of the water. He raised a key into the air. "Sha-score!" "Way to go, bro!" Duncan shouted. "Hey, does he always say sha before each word?" He turned. "Scott?" Scott grinded his teeth as he rocked back and forth on the floor. Duncan raised an eyebrow. Lightning jumped onto the carriage. "Yes! So long, loser!" Jo pulled the carriage into the forest. "And the Villains take the lead!" Chris announced. "Meanwhile, the Heroes still haven’t chosen a diver." Cameron grinned. "And now, performing the triple lutz dive, Svetlana!" Mike blinked. "Mike?" Cameron asked. "Weird." Mike said. "I can't find Svetlana." "Who Lana?" Lindsay asked. "Time's a running, Heroes." Chris mocked. "Ugh, Lindsay will do it!" Courtney shoved Lindsay off the side of the cliff. The Heroes gasped. "What can I say? It's just like I said. The newbies can't handle the hard challenges." Courtney said. "It's not my fault they're too scared to jump. At least, Lindsay's done this before." Jo pushed Lightning through the woods. "Listen up, you don't like me," She pointed to herself. "And I really don't like you." She pointed at Lightning. "What's not to like? Muah!" Lightning kissed his muscles. "You're kidding, right?" Jo said. "Point is, we're the strongest members of our team. Agree to stay out of each other's way until the teams merge?" "Cool." Lightning said. "But then it's every champ for himself. Starting with number one, and that's me!" "Yeah, yeah." Jo strolled to a stop at the stairs of the spa hotel. Lightning struggled to fit the key in the slot. "Come on, key, get in the lock!" "It doesn't fit because it's the wrong key, Bright-ning." Jo said. Lightning hopped into the baby carriage as Sierra pushed Lindsay up to the Spa Hotel. Lindsay shook her head as the key refused to turn. "It doesn't fit?" Sierra asked. "Ooh, maybe they left a window open?" Lindsay suggested. Sierra blinked. The remaining Hamsters and Villains stared at the cliff's base, waiting for their teams to return. "Come on, come on." Duncan said. "That wasn't very nice, Courtney." Cameron said. "Yeah, why'd you push Lindsay off the cliff?" Sam asked. "She's obviously on the wrong team." Heather mocked. "Couldn't have said it better myself." Duncan laughed. "Did you hear what Heather said to Courtney, Gwen?" Gwen stared at him. He chuckled nervously. "I mean, here comes Jo! How 'bout a kiss for good luck?" He puckered his lips. Gwen smirked. "Okay, close your eyes." She snickered and pushed Duncan off the cliff. He screamed as he landed in the water. "Harsh. I didn't know you had it in you, Weird Goth Girl." Heather said. "Wait, but, I wasn't –" Gwen's eyes widened. "I was just teasing Duncan! I wasn't trying to hurt him. I'm not villainous!" She calmed down. "Plus, a girl's gotta keep her boyfriend in check. If he mentions Courtney one more time, he'll wish all he got was a fall of the cliff." Duncan swam toward a key. Fang bared his teeth, but Duncan swam upward to avoid him. Lightning hopped off the carriage and dusted off his clothes. "Roll it!" Duncan ordered as he hopped into the baby carriage. Jo grunted as she pushed Duncan toward the spa hotel. Sierra rolled Lindsay up to the cliff's base. "Sierra's back! Hurry up; the Villains are still ahead of us!" Courtney shouted. "Okay, I'll go." Mike said. Zoey kissed him on the cheek. "Good luck." Mike mumbled incoherently as he fell off the side of the cliff. A shark leaped up, but Mike landed on the animal's head and slipped into the ocean. Jo pushed Duncan through the woods. "Listen up, short pants, I'm in charge. Get in my way and I'll make your life a walking nightmare." "Ha! Trust me, I don't want to be in charge, but feel free to knock yourself out trying!" Duncan taunted. "Really?" Jo asked. Duncan fitted the key into the slot. "No use, it's a dud." "Way to pick the wrong key, Dud-can." Jo said. "Ha! Good one." Duncan said. "Thanks?" Jo blinked. "Wow! Someone who finally appreciates my killer zingers!" "Oh my gosh, Mike, I'm such a fan.” Sierra squealed as she leisurely pushed the stroller toward the spa hotel. "Svetlana is my favorite of your personalities." "Uh, thanks, do you think we can go a bit faster?" Mike asked. Jo wheeled Duncan past them on their way back to the cliff. "Sierra?" "Just one minute." Sierra laughed. "The way you defeated your alternate personalities and took back control? So amazing!" "Uh, Sierra, focus!" Mike protested. "And you and Zoey," Sierra swooned. "Tell me. Was it love at first sight? Did you know that you'd two would be together for the rest of your lives when your eyes first touched?" She pressed her face towards him. Mike gulped. "True love! Just like me and Cody! You know, once we actually start going out, and I get out of the friend zone." Sierra laughed. Her face pressed closer to Mike’s. "Did you two have your first kiss yet?" "Uh .." Mike said. "If you haven't and you do, can I watch?" Sierra asked. Mike leaped out of the carriage. "Oh look, we're here!" He pressed the key into the hole. "Uh, no good, back we go." Sierra clapped. "Yay! I have one more question to ask you." Mike groaned as he hopped back into the carriage. "The viewers know all about your multiple personalities, but we don't know the real you. Tell me, what do you like to do? Your interests, your flaws?" "Oh, that's not so bad." Mike said. "Do you take a shower in the morning or at night? Do you pee standing up or sitting down? The viewers must know!" Sierra panted like a dog as she stared at him. "Spoke too soon." Mike sighed. "I know Sierra means well, but some of her questions are pretty personal.” "There they are!" Zoey announced. Gwen looked over the side of the cliff. "Wow, this was a lot easier to do back then." Zoey gulped. "At least you've done this before. I don't know if I could have done that. But, we might as well get it over with." Gwen and Zoey screamed as they leaped over the side of the cliff. Jo and Duncan watched as Sierra pushed Mike next to them. "And that's all of my interests, worries, flaws, and quirks that make me a regular person." "Wow." Sierra said. "I hope none of that gets edited out so viewers can see you're not only defined by your offensive personality." "Wait, what do you mean offensive?" Mike asked. Zoey ran up to the carriage. "Let's go." "Zoey!" Sierra raised the baby carriage, dropping Mike onto the sand. "Do I have questions for you!" "Okay, but hurry!" Zoey insisted. "And the Heroes take the lead for the first time in this challenge!" Chris announced. "Will it be enough?" Gwen rose from the waters. Two sharks surrounded her. She gulped. "Nice sh-sh-sharks." "Gwen!" Duncan shouted. Gwen yelped and dove underwater, avoiding the sharks as they crashed into each other. She ran up to the carriage. "Oh, I'm so glad you're –" Duncan started Gwen ran up to the carriage and jumped in. "Let's go!" "You think I don't know that?" Jo said. Duncan blinked. "Uh, Sierra, you think you could go faster please?" Zoey said. "But, Zoey, the viewers have to know!" Sierra said as she leisurely pushed the carriage. "I mean, I know all about the first generation, but the second generation is a complete mystery to me! It's probably because of the thirteen episodes you guys got. We don't know much about you." "Ha, later, stalker!" Jo shouted as she wheeled Gwen past them. "Sierra!" Zoey protested. "So much for our lead." "Just one question, Zoey." Sierra said. "How did you keep your abilities after you went commando and defeated Chef? I mean, only Izzy's done that before. You two are so crazy." Zoey's eyes narrowed. Gwen fitted the key into the hole. "Darn it!" "Ugh," Jo said. "How hard is it to find the right key?!" Gwen hopped into the carriage. "Guess you shoulda been a diver, huh?" "And that's how I kept my abilities." Zoey jumped out of the carriage and up to the spa hotel. "Ooh, that was interesting." Sierra said. "I hope that doesn't get edited out either." "No good." Zoey said. "Back we go." Jo, Gwen, Zoey, and Sierra returned to the base of the cliff. Sam gulped as he leaped off the cliff. "Here goes." Heather rolled her eyes. "Good thing Leshawna isn't here to throw me off again." "What's the matter? 'Fraid you'll get your hair wet again?" Duncan teased. Heather scoffed. "Whatever. Anything to get away from that thing." The Drama Machine beeped. Heather screamed and leaped off the cliff. "No!" Sam yelled as a shark dragged him underwater. Heather ran up to the carriage, holding a key. "Go!" She turned and laughed. "Sucker!" Sam groaned as he resurfaced. Jo panted as she reached the spa hotel. "I haven't been this tired since I ran that heptathlon." "It doesn't fit! Come on, move it!" Heather ordered as she leaped back into the carriage. Sierra frowned as she dragged Sam, scratched up and groaning, to the spa hotel. "Sam, the viewers are invested! You and Dakota? Fans loved it when you two got together last season. The way you chose to love her even though she turned into a freakish monster was amazing!" Sam looked up at Sierra with a raised eyebrow. "Uh, I wouldn't call her that, exactly. She's gamer-level awesome, not a freaky monster." He spotted Jo racing past them. "Sierra!" "Ooh, ooh!" Sierra said. "The way you defended her is so you, even if it is true." Sam sighed. "I'm so excited to be surrounded by the ''Revenge of the Island cast." Sierra laughed. "I hope I get to answer all my questions before they get eliminated."'' "It's your turn, man!" Duncan said. Lightning grunted as he tried to pry Scott off a nearby rock. "They're back!" Cameron announced. "Okay, Courtney, it's your turn." "What?! Why me?" Courtney asked. "Lindsay, Mike, Zoey, and Sam have all gone. I can't. I have a medical condition that prevents me from jumping off cliffs." Cameron said. "What?!" Courtney yelled. "It's true, I swear!" Cameron squeaked. "Why do you think I've been in a bubble all of my life?" "No!" Scott said. "You can't make me!" "Oh yes I can!" Lightning said. "You have to dive! It's you or the robot and I'm pretty sure the robot isn't waterproof!" Duncan said. "Yeah, but it's sh-sh-sharkproof!" Scott said. "By the way, why am I the only one who's developed a fear of sharks on this show?" He screamed as Lightning pried him off the rock. Lightning bumped into the Drama Machine. It wheeled toward the edge of the cliff, beeping in worry as the cliff gave way. Duncan, Scott, and Lightning gasped as the robot fell into the lake. "So long and good riddance." Heather snickered. Fang and the sharks chewed on the robot's limbs. Electricity fizzled and the Drama Machine exploded. Alejandro flew into the air and winked. Duncan and Courtney gasped. Scott, Lightning, Cameron, and Mike stared at him in confusion. "WHAT?!" Heather screamed. "You have got to be kidding me!" "Last thing I remember," Alejandro explained. "I was burned to a crisp by the volcano and Chris sealed me up in that robot suit 'to heal.' It feels so good to be free after all this time. I must thank Scott for his cowardice." He landed on his feet, catching a key in his palm. Alejandro took one step and fell face-first in the sand. Scott, Duncan, and Lightning cringed. "I was stuck in that robot suit for a year." Alejandro said. "My legs are so asleep, it's like they’re in a coma!" "You have to jump, Courtney!" Zoey encouraged. "You can do it, Courtney!" Cameron cheered. "We believe in you!" Sam said. Courtney glanced at the water. She began to sob and covered her eyes in shame. "I can't do this." "Are the Heroes headed for defeat?" Chris asked. "If Alejandro's key fits the spa hotel, it's all over for them!" Jo reached the Spa Hotel and carried Alejandro up the stairs, bridal style. Alejandro fitted the key into the keyhole, unlocking the door. "Finalmente!" Alejandro cheered. "Finally!" Jo said, dropping Alejandro onto the floor. "The door is open! The Vultures win!" Chris cheered. Up on the cliff, the Villains cheered. The Heroes sighed. Courtney buried her face in her hands. Act III That night, the Heroic Hamsters sat on the tree stumps. Nearby, on two-rowed stands, the Villainous Vultures grinned triumphantly. "Welcome to our first elimination ceremony!" Chris said. "How do you like the new peanut gallery? Huh?" He gestured to the Villains. Lightning, Scott and Jo sat at the back row while Alejandro, Heather, Duncan, and Gwen sat in the front. "Now, winners can watch their opponents give someone the boot before they head to the Spa Hotel for a deluxe dinner." The Villains cheered. Courtney glared at Gwen. She gulped and looked away. "Before we start, I need one winner to volunteer for a special reward." Lightning ran up to Chris. "Ha! Sha-Lightning!" "Great!" Chris said. "Your reward is ... spending the night in exile on Boney Island with all the hungry, wild animals!" "Aw! How is that a reward?" Lightning asked. "Because," Chris said. "There's a McLean Invincibility Statue hidden somewhere on Boney Island! Find it, and you're golden!" Scott groaned. "Now he tells us." Chef led Lightning to the docks. "This year, you get to vote by placing an X on the eight by ten photo of the person you want to send home. Now, get voting." Chris instructed. Sam scratched a marker across a photo of Sierra. Mike and Zoey followed suit. Sierra blinked as she raised the marker. Courtney held up a photo of Zoey and crossed an X over it. Lindsay held up a photo of Courtney and crossed an X over it. Cameron held up photos of Courtney and Sierra and glanced at them uncertainly. "Okay. The following people are safe!" Chris held up a tray of six marshmallows. "When I call your names, come up and claim your marshmallow. Cameron, Mike, Sam, and Zoey," The second generation cast walked up to Chris and ate their marshmallows. "Lindsay," She squealed and plucked her marshmallow off the tray. "Sierra, you're on the chopping block for your terrible driving skills and having your focus on invading personal space than on the challenge. Courtney, you're on the chopping block for telling everybody to jump off the cliff and refusing to do so yourself. So hypocritical, Courtney." "Yeah, what's the matter with you?" Lindsay said. "And the loser is ..." Chris held up the platter. Courtney stared at the marshmallow. Sierra whimpered as she looked at the marshmallow. "Sierra!" Sierra gasped. "Me?! But why?" "It's nothing personal." Zoey said. "You were just a little too personal, heh heh." Mike said. "I hope we can still be friends!" Sam said. "Besides," Chris scolded. "You weren't even supposed to be on this season! But, this gives me the perfect chance to introduce our new elimination device!" Sierra cried as she floated in a gigantic toilet. Lindsay, Cameron, Sam, Zoey, Mike, and Courtney stood on the dock. The Villains stood behind them. "Behold the Flush of Shame!" Chris said. The competitors retched in disgust. "Patent pending." "Bye Sierra! Say hi to Cody for me!" Gwen shouted. "And make more of those 'Gwuncan' videos!" Duncan grinned at Courtney. Her eyes narrowed, but she didn't reply. Gwen glared at him. "What?" "Hold your breath." Chris advised. He pressed a button and the water began to churn. "I'm coming, Cody!" Sierra yelled as she spun in the toilet and vanished. Chris raised an umbrella as toilet water backwashed and doused the competitors. "My hair!" Heather shouted. "Ew, ew, ew, ew!" Mike exclaimed. Chris stood on the dock. "Who'll be the next all-star to be flushed into the history books?" He raised his arms. "Find out when we return on ... Total ... Drama ... All-Stars!" Exclusive clip Sierra screamed as a geyser erupted underneath her, propelling her into a warehouse. "Where?" She looked around and spotted a pile of alien pods. "Area 51!" Her face lit up. "From episode sixty-seven of World Tour! That means," On instant, the four pods opened and released clones of Cody. "Alien Cody clones!" She grabbed one clone and tucked it underneath her arm. The others instantly ran off. Sierra squealed in delight. "This isn't Area 51! It's heaven!" Category:A to Z Category:Total Drama All-Stars (Rewrite) transcripts